I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
