You're completely useless in the revolution.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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