If i come over, it means nothing
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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