like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's no shave November. This is our time.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
