uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
