dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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