Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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