So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
