you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
