Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
