I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
