I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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