Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
