Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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