you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
