Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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