my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
