Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
