I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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