Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
