Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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