god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
