ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
