i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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