Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
