Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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