i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
