At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
