So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
