I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
