My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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