her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
