I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
