U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
