god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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