hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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