I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize