did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
