sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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