you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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