Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
this will be a night to untag.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
