you have to choose: penises or morals?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
