I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
