i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
