end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
