Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
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