Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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