Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
