alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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