We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
