Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
