haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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