Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize