Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
