I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Randomize