Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
