We're like a lot better than the average bears
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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