can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
