She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize