dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
