The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
