Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You pole danced in your parka.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
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