watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
