i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
