If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Send help, water and tortillas.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize