why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
