I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
