Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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