If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
