He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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