Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
