Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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