You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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