at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
