so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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