I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
